Routines are what keep the household going round. If you are tired of pulling your hair out every morning and night, routines will help. The purpose of a good routine is to put the responsibility on your kids; to motivate them to want to do what you want them to without them really realizing it. I am not going to pretend that routines will get your kids to do everything you want them to do, but they will help. And this way, you get to be the good guy! The routine becomes the driver, not you. Exhibit A:
Mom with no routine: "You need to make your bed. Make your bed or no friends after school. I'm only going to ask one more time. That's it! No friends, I mean it. Make your bed. Do it. Now!"
RESPONSILBITY ON YOU
Mom with a routine: "Bummer, looks like you didn't get any checks for today. You didn't earn any tickets, but you can try again tomorrow."
RESPONSIBILITY ON YOUR KID
Which mom do you want to be?
Today I want to share our current morning and night routine. I started by making charts for each of my kids. I really believe in personalizing routine charts for each kid based on their and ability. The top chart is for my oldest son. He is 9 and has a lot more expected of him. I write his out weekly responsibilities on a blank template and change it depending on the week.
The bottom left chart is my 6 year old's and bottom right is my 4 year old's. (My printer was broken, so they got handwritten charts. I am not an artist! But this goes to show that it doesn't have to be cute to function well.) I laminated the 2 younger charts so they are reusable.
Each morning and night, it is my kids' responsibility to check off what they have done.
Before bed, I have them count up their checks for the day and pass out the coveted tickets ( good guy status). One thing that I have learned is that I can cut down on bed time shenanigans by announcing what time I will be handing out tickets. Any task that is done after that time will not receive a ticket. This gets even my most distractible child in gear. Usually. From time-to-time, if they are really struggling to stay in bed, I will take away a ticket (gasp) but that is the only time I take them away. Those tickets are like gold to these kids and a visual representation of what they are accomplishing every morning and night all on their own!
Like I said, the key to a solid routine is making our kids fully responsible for completing small tasks, helping them feel capable of accomplishing and earning a reward. Kids naturally want to be independent. They want to earn their tickets. And that's why a good routine works!
At the end of each week, during our family meeting we pull out the "Family Store." In it are items, big and small that the kids can buy using their tickets. We also have coupons for ice cream or another special treat. Some items will take a few weeks worth of tickets to buy and others are just a few tickets. I price the items differently for each kid since they earn different amounts of tickets due to differing responsibilities. They can also trade in each ticket for a quarter (or 10 for a dollar for my older son), to use for fun spending money. (We use another system of allowance for our oldest boy that I will share another time.)
This routine has worked well for our family over the last month, however routines stop motivating kids after a while. It is smart to have a tool box of different routines to keep kids moving. So, if you have a system that is working well for your family, let me know! Seriously, for the good of mothers' sanity everywhere, LET ME KNOW. You can email me at thrivingmotherhood@gmail.com with your brilliant ideas :)
